The Ocho | Things you don’t want to hear at Thanksgiving dinner 

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Eight things you really don’t want to hear over the dinner table this Thanksgiving:

8. “Oooh! Every cable channel is showing Miss Congeniality! All day!”

7. “Grandma doesn’t seem to be breathing … Did anyone bring a garment bag?”

6. “The wine store was closed, but can I interest you in a Mike’s Hard Cranberry?”

5. “Mommy has to go work her shift at Trails. Are my turkey pasties on straight?”

4. “Gather ’round the radio, kids! It’s almost time for The Best of Sean Hannity!

3. “No, it’s not wet cardboard—it’s Tofurkey! Doesn’t anyone read my blog?”

2. “Oh, great—City Weekly’s gift guide is out already. Now we have to think about Christmas …”

1. “Dad, dad … I’m straight.”
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