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The Ocho | The Magic 8-Ball’s 2008 Predictions 

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Eight answers/predictions from the Magic 8-Ball for the year of 2008:

8
. Q: Will certain City Weekly staffers repent for their booze-fueled company holiday-party antics? A: “Reply hazy, try again.”

7. Q: Will they repeat the same antics elsewhere on New Year’s Eve? A: “You may rely on it.”

6. Q: Will KNRS 570 talk-show host Bob Lonsberry be caught diddling young boys while whacked out on OxyContin? A: “Better not tell you now.”

5. Q: Will a local punk band name themselves The Dumpster Puppies? A: “As I see it, yes.”

4. Q: Will KUTV 2’s Cristina Flores across the street ever answer my not-at-all-stalker-like fan letters? A: “Don’t count on it.”

3. Q: Will Utah vote blindly for yet another Republican presidential candidate in November, even if he’s a godless adulterer with bad hair? A: “Signs point to yes.”

2. Q: Will The Ocho finally win a Society of Professional Journalists award this year? A: “Outlook not so good.”

1. Q: Will Rocky Anderson continue to bitch about “City Weekly-style journalism” long after everybody stops listening? A: “Yes—definitely."

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