The Ocho | Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em 


Eight eventual benefits of the smoking ban going into effect in Utah bars Jan. 1, 2009:


8. More stamina to outrun Mayor Becker’s hybrid police cars.


7. Finally knowing what your favorite dive really smells like.


6. No more women snubbing advances with a cigarette butt to your forehead.


5. Finally knowing what your favorite stripper really looks like.


4. A much healthier environment in which to ingest alcohol and fried food.


3. No more feeling like chain-smoking jazz musicians are cooler than you.


2. Saving enough money on cigarettes to buy first concealed weapon.


1. Breaking one less Word of Wisdom code on the weekends.

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