The Ocho | Glorious Jesus Fetus Recognition 

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Eight alternative greetings to “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” this season:

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8. “Glorious Jesus Fetus Recognition to you, sir.”

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7. “Hail Santa! Hail Santa! Hail Santa!”

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6. “Joyous Debt-Regeneration Tidings to all!”

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5. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer.”

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4. “Tiempo Feliz de Idolo.”

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3. “Let’s Put the X Back in Xmas, baby!”

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2. “Welcome to Wal-Mart. You will be assimilated.”

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1. “Merry Buttars to All, and to All a Good Recount.”

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