The Ocho | Glorious Jesus Fetus Recognition 

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Eight alternative greetings to “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” this season:


8. “Glorious Jesus Fetus Recognition to you, sir.”


7. “Hail Santa! Hail Santa! Hail Santa!”


6. “Joyous Debt-Regeneration Tidings to all!”


5. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer.”


4. “Tiempo Feliz de Idolo.”


3. “Let’s Put the X Back in Xmas, baby!”


2. “Welcome to Wal-Mart. You will be assimilated.”


1. “Merry Buttars to All, and to All a Good Recount.”

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