1. The U.K. to stop exporting subtitles to the U.S. BBC affiliates. 2. Due to a loss in funding, Sherlock will now be written by the team behind CSI: Miami. 3. The American people will suffer through the greatest crumpet famine in our history. 4. The great renaming of English muffins to "Bloody hell, what have we done?" muffins. 5. Stock in fish and chips will dip into more than just tartar sauce. 6. Fox News will learn the difference between the U.N. and the E.U. 7. In order to raise campaign funds and spirits, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump's hair will hold a televised duel. 8. America is next in line to be the best at queuing. 9. Tea time will turn into regret time.