The Missionary Position 

Rules were made to be ...

Siaosi Kioa: Bellman, University Park Marriott Hotel. Served Michigan East Lansing Mission, 2002-2004

nn

Did you break any rules as a missionary?

nn

When I beat up the mission president’s son, I was sure I would be sent home. While in Detroit, he made comments like, “Don’t you feel at home with all these sirens?” or “I bet sitting in the back seat is nothing new for you,” because I’m Polynesian. All of us hated this kid, so the district leader pooled all the missionaries’ saving funds and bet me to beat the kid up. While at the mission president’s house, I asked his son to step outside … and threw the first punch. That day, I wasn’t a missionary, and kept pounding him. As the mission president tried to stop me, I called him out, too. I was in a lot of trouble, but it all worked out. The mission president and his son apologized, and I was promoted to zone leader.

Pin It
Favorite

More by Jennifer Gustavson

  • 5 Spot

    Artist Max Grundy on Sloppy Joes, propoganda and Nirvana
    • Jun 11, 2007
  • The Missionary Position

    Charlton MillerAdministrative assistant and IT support technician - Australia Melbourne West Mission 2000-2002nnWhat was your most interesting house call? nn“There are too many to count. Once, an older lady cooked us dinner and my companion and...
    • Jun 11, 2007
  • The Missionary Position

    Chris Huggard: Sixth-year Salt Lake Community College student. Served Alabama Birmingham mission, 1998nnDid you ever have a crush on anyone you were proselytizing to?nnThere was one girl. She was hot! I still think about her to this day. Our mission...
    • Jun 11, 2007
  • More »

Latest in News & Columns

  • Shar Lewis of Utah Commission on Volunteers

    Shar Lewis, the executive director of Utah Commission on Volunteers, has helped craft the Lieutenant Governor's Conference on Service, April 8-10 at the Hilton Salt Lake City Center (Volunteers.Utah.gov). Lt. Gov. Greg Bell and Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, will speak, in addition to numerous breakout sessions and a service project on the final day.
    • Mar 31, 2010
  • The Ocho | Private Club Membership Scanners

    nEight commercial scanners being considered by the Utah Legislature should driver license info be voted to replace private club memberships: n8. Drunky Spotter 5000® n7. The Lil' Violater (a division of Diebold) n6. Ronco Privacy Parrot™n5. Microsoft Totalitarian® for Windows n4. DataSucker 2.0 (a division of WaddoupsCo) n3. Homeland Security Junior Officer Kit© n2. RectalSpy&re...
    • Feb 3, 2009
  • Mullen| Leave Us Alone: Even in the sovereign nation of Utah, you still have rights. Right?

    By most measures of small-business success in Utah, Tony Chlepas would be in the Hall of Fame. nHis mother, the late Helen Chlepas, was widowed with her four children still in grade school. In the early ’70s, Helen secured a small loan to buy a ramshackle little tavern near the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon. Tony and his siblings grew up helping their mom, including in the bar’s tiny ...
    • Feb 3, 2009
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

© 2015 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation