The Farce Awakens | Hits & Misses | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

The Farce Awakens 

Also: Herbert Cool on Hot Waste, Vague Scenarios

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The Farce Awakens
You've heard the phrase "Only in Utah." It hit the mark in a preview of the upcoming Star Wars movie. Deseret News columnist Herb Scribner put it this way: "If there's one thing to take away from the new teaser trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, it's that the force is strong in families." He is pretty sure, not having seen the film, that the "power of (Luke) Skywalker's genealogy will play a role." Utah blogger Curtis Haring is one of many making wild fun of this teaser of a teaser. "The six-paragraph article is impressive in its ability to overanalyze a minute and 20 seconds of movie footage that may or may not make the final cut," he said. Well, we probably won't know until Christmas 2015, when the movie comes out and Mormons (along with everybody else) flock to see the family focus.

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Herbert Cool on Hot Waste
There's that problem again with nuclear power: You make it, you use it, and then what do you do? That's where Utah comes in. The state has long been the target of various nuclear-waste disposal schemes—you know, burying it in big old casks. But there is hope, because Gov. Gary Herbert has a "hunch" that the depleted uranium Energy Solutions wants to import is just not quite as benign as the company would have us believe. So Herbert put a hold on action until the feds can review how hazardous it is. In fact, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission may reclassify it as Class B or Class C waste, which is illegal in Utah. Of course, that hasn't stopped Energy Solutions. It brought in a bunch of DU in 2009, and it will just get hotter and hotter over the next million years.

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Vague Scenarios
Have you taken the much-ballyhooed Envision Utah survey (at EnvisionUtah.net)?The one that's supposed to guide us into the future? Excuse me. The website is confusing at best, providing lovely pictures of various scenarios dubiously dubbed Seagull, Bonneville Trout, Allosaurus, Sego Lily and Quaking Aspen. The site's explanations are maddeningly vague, and then it asks you to use a comparison tool, which turns out to be a 3-D map. There are graphics explaining what happens to air, crops and such in each scenario, making it more of a technological challenge of the standardized-testing variety than an educational tool. You really have to take notes. It might have been better to call the scenarios Republican, Democrat, Libertarian and Socialist—but this is Utah, a pretty vague state.

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