The Cone Zone | True TV | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

The Cone Zone 

Fifteen years of (and on) Late Night With Conan O’Brien.

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art7387widea.jpg

On Friday, Feb. 20, NBC’s Late Night With Conan O’Brien ends its 15-year run with musical guests the White Stripes and not a final appearance by The Only TV Column That Matters™. Yes, even though Conan and I have quite a history together, I was relegated to a week-before-who-cares? chair slot last Friday—and I’ve yet to be invited to come on The Tonight Show, which Big Red takes over from Jay Leno in June. Conan O’Brien: Sell-out.

In (dis)honor of Conan’s historic move, I’ve compiled a few of my favorite appearances on Late Night, which will cease to exist approximately two-to-three months after Jimmy Fallon (who’s been a guest only half as many times as myself) takes over and will probably be replaced with The Best of Carson Daly.

Sept. 13, 1993: Conan’s debut! Guests included John Goodman (promoting The Flintstones), Drew Barrymore (promoting her Amy Fisher movie) and me (promoting my first book, Why This Fantastic Grunge Music Will Live Forever). Later, I learned that tomorrow night’s musical guests would be some band called Radiohead, who later faded into obscurity due to their lack of minor chords and flannel.

Dec. 30, 1994: I shared the couch with actress Yasmine Bleeth (Baywatch), who got none of my jokes about “floatation devices.” She was later accosted by the Masturbating Bear.

Sept. 18, 1997: After a few years off, I was back on Late Night, alongside Lucy Lawless (then Xena: Warrior Princess), and David Cross and Bob Odenkirk (then starring in HBO’s Mr. Show). During our interview, Conan asked what I’d been up to; I answered, “Just watching Xena and Mr. Show in my underwear, along with a few hundred other jobless lesbians and miscreants.” Both were canceled soon after my appearance. Purely coincidental.

April 13, 2001: After a few years off (think of all the “In the Year 2000” bits I didn’t get to participate in!), I was back on Late Night, with other guests Tom Green and Vertical Horizon. I have no idea who they were, either.

Sept. 26, 2002: Finally, I was on with a worthy co-guest: Tina Fey! We exchanged pleasantries backstage, and I suggested she produce a sitcom based on her daily work life at Saturday Night Live. I also told musical guests Coldplay that they should give up being a Vertical Horizon tribute band and become limp-wristed U2 impersonators. At least one of ’em took my advice!

April 23, 2003: As the White Stripes began their week-long stint as Conan’s house band, I asked Jack White if he stole the rock-duo idea from Local H. I woke up an hour later with a black eye, being teabagged by the Masturbating Bear.

Feb. 25, 2005: After another year’s suspension, Conan invited me back on my birthday! I shared the couch with John Travolta (who offered to make me a Scientologist) and Shannon Elizabeth (who offered to put me in her next movie—a fate worse than Scientology!). Backstage, Yasmine Bleeth and I shivved the Masturbating Bear, with Conan’s unspoken approval and the promise to lay low for four years.

Feb. 13, 2009: Last Friday, the ultimate betrayal: My final appearance on Late Night! Alongside Isla Fisher, pimping her lousy Shopaholic movie! Damn gingers. Obviously, my long bro-ship with Conan is over; I’ll have to push my forthcoming book, Why Fantastic Newspapers Will Live Forever, on The Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

Pin It
Favorite

Speaking of...

More by Bill Frost

  • Locked-Up Abroad

    Prison Break returns for another escape; Brockmire hits the strike zone.
    • Mar 29, 2017
  • Orrin 4 Life

    Eight campaign slogans for Sen. Orrin Hatch’s run for an eighth term
    • Mar 29, 2017
  • What a Drag

    RuPaul's Drag Race returns to make America great again; Harlots hooks historically.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in True TV

  • Locked-Up Abroad

    Prison Break returns for another escape; Brockmire hits the strike zone.
    • Mar 29, 2017
  • What a Drag

    RuPaul's Drag Race returns to make America great again; Harlots hooks historically.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Ham Fist

    Marvel's Iron Fist packs little punch; Into the Badlands delivers the kung-fu action.
    • Mar 15, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation