Thanksgiving Marathons, Ace of Cakes, Victoria's Secret, Sons of Anarchy, Terriers 

Panty Pushers: Turkeys, cakes, bikes and still no dogs.

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Thanksgiving Day Marathons
Thursday, Nov. 25

Playing all day as you digest: Burn Notice (USA); Will & Grace (Lifetime); Mythbusters (Discovery); The First 48 (A&E); The Buried Life (MTV); Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, Rob & Big (MTV2); Law & Order (TNT); Cake Boss (TLC); Man vs. Food (Travel); Gangland (Spike); The Millionaire Matchmaker, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); James Bond Marathon (SyFy); Speeders, World’s Dumbest Criminals (TruTV); Kung Fu Panda (FX); Star Trek: The Next Generation (BBC America); Ally McBeal (Reelz). There are also some televised sporting events, I believe.

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Ace of Cakes: Holidays on Icing
Saturday, Nov. 27 (Food Network)

Holiday Special:
After five years and over 100 episodes, the Food Network has canceled Ace of Cakes; the 10th (!) and final season begins airing January 2011. Where am I gonna learn all about Baltimore now? Until then, there’s this one-hour holiday special, wherein Duff Goldman and crew get ready for jingle-bells time by playing neighborhood secret Santa, (over)decorating ornaments and making some high-octane eggnog at The Dizz (the bar across the street from Charm City Cakes—see? Baltimore knowledge). Elena, I’ll miss you most of all.

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Don't Miss
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Don't Rush
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Don't Bother

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The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Tuesday, Nov. 30 (CBS)

The Only TV Column That Matters™ has been defending this slick jiggle-fest since its broadcast debut in 2001; while everyone else called it “pornographic,” “over-commercialized” and “the greatest threat to Our Children since evolutionary theory and fluoridated water,” True TV said, “Hey, it’s better than a sticky catalog under the mattress.” But! The free ride’s over, you dead-eyed panty pushers: This year’s jewel-studded “Fantasy Bra” is only worth a measly $2 million? What is this, Big Lots? I said good day, stick.

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Sons of Anarchy
Tuesday, Nov. 30 (FX)

Season Finale:
SAMCRO spent almost half of Season 3 in Ireland, searching for Jax’s (Charlie Hunnam) kid, snuffing rogue chapter members and pushing the desperate antihero image to new extremes (like, say, Katey Sagal snatching a baby from a nun and putting a gun to its head two weeks ago). Meanwhile, back in Charming, Jax’s girlfriend, Tara (Maggie Siff), is pregnant, kidnapped and racking up her own body count—even the doctors on this show have to make the occasional kill. This season hasn’t been an easy ride, but probably more important moving forward than is immediately apparent; SOA couldn’t have served up this much back story and potential future drama by keeping the motorcycle club in California, that’s for sure. What happens in tonight’s finale? I’d tell you, but showrunner Kurt Sutter would kill me. Seriously. Remember the gun and the baby?

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Terriers
Wednesday, Dec. 1 (FX)

Season Finale:
Equal to Sons of Anarchy in storytelling, if not flash and violence, Terriers has struggled through its first season thanks mostly to titular misunderstanding (it’s not about dogs) and semi-schizo plotting (the series is as much about love and loss as it is about solving crimes and busting punks). Small-time San Diego private detectives Hank (Donal Logue) and Britt (Michael-Raymond James) stumbled upon a meaty local political conspiracy early on, but it’s taken a back seat to the guys’ daily personal drama—of which there’s been plenty; seemingly, two seasons’ worth woven through just 13 episodes. The conspiracy has resurfaced in the homestretch, but matters not: Terriers is a modern-day Rockford Files, just with two Jims, more complicated women and better one-liners (a compendium of Logue’s wisecracks would be a funnier read than CBS’s entire sitcom lineup). Ignore the ratings and bring on Season 2, FX.

Bill Frost


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