Super Bowling 

8 ways to make sure that your team wins the Super Bowl

Pin It
click to enlarge news_the_ocho1-1.jpg

8. Realize that the universe is hurtling toward entropy and nothing really matters.

7. JK! The Super Bowl is super important—wear your lucky jersey!

6. Down 49 beers on Sunday before kickoff, or whatever the hell number XLIX stands for.

5. Trust that the team that plays the game the most skillfully will come out on top.

4. JK! It's all about the inflation of the balls, dude!

3. Just keep reminding yourself that they're not the Utah Jazz.

2. If "your team" resides more than 100 miles from "your home," rethink allegiance.

1. Pray to your deity of choice for victory—or at least a halftime Katy Perry wardrobe malfunction.

Pin It


More by Bill Frost

  • Rigging, Bigly

    Eight ways to rig the 2016 election:
    • Oct 26, 2016
  • Net Worthless

    The Great Indoors wastes Joel McHale; Stan Against Evil shakes up Halloween.
    • Oct 26, 2016
  • Tech Your Head

    Black Mirror returns to troll your fears; Dirk Gently is sheer madness.
    • Oct 19, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Rigging, Bigly

    Eight ways to rig the 2016 election:
    • Oct 26, 2016
  • Rocktober Rulez!

    The eight indisputable rules of Rocktober, 2016 edition:
    • Oct 19, 2016
  • Ooh, Spooky!

    Behold the 8 scariest Halloween costumes of 2016.
    • Oct 12, 2016
  • More »


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Obama & Utah

    8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
    • Apr 1, 2015

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation