Statham Mania | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Statham Mania 

8 new Jason Statham movies

Pin It
click to enlarge art15804.jpg

Eight Jason Statham movies coming in 2012 after this weekend’s “new” Safe:

8. Strung Out: Statham rescues a child violin prodigy; beats the hell out of Russian mobsters and a rogue brass section.

7. 32 Down: Statham rescues a brilliant crossword writer; beats the hell out of Japanese mobsters (aka the Sudoku Yakuza).

6. Iced: Statham rescues a teen figure-skating prodigy; beats the hell out of Canadian mobsters and drunken hockey fans.

5. Caged Rage: Statham rescues trafficked gerbils; beats the hell out of Mongolian mobsters and corrupt PetSmart employees.

4. Double Penetration: Statham rescues twin strippers; beats the hell out of Columbian mobsters and Secret Service agents.

3. Plinko Disaster: Statham rescues a record-winning Price Is Right contestant; beats the hell out of Drew Carey.

2. Dead Plastic Trees: Statham rescues Radiohead; beats the hell out of British mobsters and disgruntled rock critics.

1. Crank 3-D: Mormon Storm: Statham rescues Mitt Romney; beats the hell out of media mobsters and PETA.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It


More by Bill Frost

  • The White Stuff

    Dear White People aims to expand minds; American Gods arrives to blow 'em.
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Do Your (Other) Job

    Eight temporary private-sector jobs for future Utah guv Jason Chaffetz:
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Final Exit

    Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid's Tale goes darker.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment


Readers also liked…

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • Red, White & Blew

    8 lesser-known patriotic songs for your 9/11 Spotify playlist
    • Sep 9, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation