Smackdown! 

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Your final local women’s roller-derby report for June: The Salt City Derby Girls’ all-star team, the Salt City Shakers, mashed Boise’s Treasure Valley Rollergirls last Saturday, June 28, at the Utah Olympic Oval; final score 88-41. Over three brutal periods, the Shakers proved to be the faster skaters (and scorers), while the TVRGs made up by simply hitting harder and more often. Minor injuries were sustained by the Shakers’ Red Suzy (Mrs. Frost Bytes) and Treasure Valley’s Cybil Dizorder, among others, but the Shakers’ Smother of Pearl became the bout’s default MVP (Most Violent Player) after being involved in two on-track scraps and eventually getting ejected from the game'SLC roller-derby ladies are such delicate flowers. The Shakers will eventually travel to Boise for a rematch; the next home bout for the Salt City Derby Girls is Saturday, July 21: The Bomber Babes vs. The Death Dealers, info at SLCDerby.com.

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• In other less-physical sports news, World Wrestling Entertainment’s Chris “The Canadian Crippler” Benoit apparently killed his wife and 7-year-old son over the weekend and then took himself out Monday, according to Atlanta police. Almost as disturbing, even though WWE canceled Monday night’s live Raw telecast, the USA Network aired a three-hour tribute (?!) to Benoit in its place. That’s right: a clip-show tribute to an alleged steroid-rager who just committed a double murder-suicide. Sure, Benoit had a long and storied pro-wrestling career, and WWE didn’t have all the details before airtime, but why not just take the night off? And will Friday night’s Smackdown be a two-hour apology for Monday? Not likely.

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• In local psycho-killer news, Monday’s University of Utah shooting that turned into a highway chase that became an Arby’s standoff was covered well by most local TV news'but what’s with the over-reliance on freeway CommuterLink cameras? “We’re not seeing anything,” all of the local desks would say, but the image would stay onscreen for minutes on end'to emphasize that nothing’s happening on the roads, apparently. Also, tattooed alleged perp Curtis Allgier appeared on MSNBC docu-series Lock-Up just last week, but only NBC affiliate KSL 5 seemed to have that information as of late Tuesday. Ain’t corporate synergy great?

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• Not for Ed Schulz: The liberal talker (one of a handful who exists outside of Air America) has hit us with the newsflash that the talk-radio industry is overrun with right-wing yakkers. Duh. After two whole weeks on Salt Lake City’s KSL Newsradio a few years ago, the station dumped him because “some soccer moms” complained, Schulz told CNSNews.com. “What you hear on this program you do not hear from 450 right-wing talkers in America who permeate the ears of those who don’t follow the news.” Well said, but Schulz'whom I tried to interview for this paper when he was actually on in Salt Lake City'is still kind of a douchebag.

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