In a classic love story, way better than Twilight, local strip club DJ, Frank Hansen (aka DJ Skanky) fell for a girl -- a beautiful young porn star named Cassidy Lynn. And, like any couple who falls madly in love, the two of them were legally married (by an ex-stripper turned ordained minister) at the location where they first locked eyes, Club Wet.Read More

Welcome to The Secret Handshake’s best of SLC’s Craigslist -- a monthly, handpicked selection of Salt Lake City’s finest weirdos and useless hoo-haa. Read More

Two weeks ago, I had to make a big decision: “Should I or shouldn't I joust radio host Richie T from X96?” On the one hand, I'm not into getting stabbed in the face with a wooden rod. Plus, I've never cared for horses (they have weird-shaped heads and they urinate with an unnatural velocity).Read More

I've shot quite a few guns in my lifetime, but I've never owned one; I've never felt the need to. If for some reason, a sex-crazed, burglar-terrorist broke into my house, I like to think my dog would bite him in the sack. Besides, I don't want a gun. There are enough gun-toting dingleberries walking around as it is, why add to the list?Read More

I know it may be hard to believe, but not everyone who frequents nerd conventions dresses up in cosplay costumes. That's right, after visiting 2013 SLCNerd Expo at The Complex last Saturday, I was completely blown away when I discovered people in normal clothes, like khakis, cardigans and long-sleeved T-shirts.Read More

Welcome to The Secret Handshake’s best of SLC’s Craigslist -- a monthly, hand-picked selection of Salt Lake City’s finest weirdos and useless hoo-haa. For a writer, Craigslist can be a useful place to unearth story leads, but it comes with a cost. Unfortunately, not everything on Craigslist pans out as decent fodder and the deeper you dig, the more likely you'll unearth something you can't unsee. But that doesn't mean these links should go to waste. So, without further ado, here’s this month’s bag of weird:Read More

As far as I know, there are three, surefire, 100 percent constants in life -- death, taxes, and if you attach the word “Bigfoot” to something ordinary, people will inexplicably love the crap out of it.Read More

When it comes to “unsubscribing” from people on Facebook, I’m like the Dave Chappelle of block parties. It doesn't matter if we sat next to each other in homeroom or you just gave me a fresh kidney; if you post ambiguous complaints about your boyfriend-- boom, you’re outta here. Read More

Last week’s news of heroic beavers stopping an oil spill with a well-placed beaver dam was definitely exciting. But are these busy beavers really heroes? Or are they just unfortunate victims of yet another Chevron oversight? To get to the bottom of this, how about a crude-and-oily game of 5 Degrees of SLC's Hero Beavers?Read More

Spam Box is a monthly section where The Secret Handshake attempts to answer all your rants, hate letters and random questions. In all honesty, there's no such thing as a dumb e-mail, but some are clearly better than others. Note: All letters to The Secret Handshake are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now, on to this month’s pic: Read More