http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/articles.sec-8413-1-deep-end.html By D.P. Sorensen

Mayor Ralph Becker has a bold new plan to regain the widespread popular support he’s squandered the past couple of years with various boneheaded projects ...]]> By D.P. Sorensen

The statuesque young tennis player was ironing her clothes in the nude. Tennis legend and noted lesbian Martina Navratilova told her to go get a towel or put on a robe.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

Last week, the five members of the most exclusive club in the universe, Living Presidents, assembled to celebrate the over-the-top shrine to the most embarrassing person ever to occupy the White House.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

A long time ago on a campus not that far away, we would sometimes catch a glimpse of a slight, bespectacled fellow going from building to building ...]]> By D.P. Sorensen

I am but a simple scribe, just one amongst a host of scribes who toil anonymously deep in the bowels of the Ministry of Truth.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

By now, everyone has seen the video of the crazy coach from Rutgers zinging basketballs at his players’ heads, administering forearm shivers ...]]> By D.P. Sorensen

Although the special costume theme was corsets at the immensely popular Fetish Ball, held on the night before Easter, a large number of fetishists came attired in papal regalia ...]]> By D.P. Sorensen

Everybody thinks the Brethren were pressured into letting an LDS lady get up and give a prayer at Conference this April.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

As soon as he got on the bus just outside the Smith’s on 2100 South, I knew he was the new pope: Papa Francesco, formerly Jorge Mario Bergoglio.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

The notebook arrived in the mail in a padded envelope, accompanied by a cryptic message scribbled on a torn piece of yellow paper.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

This is no job for old men, thinks the Prophet, as he watches another old man, almost exactly the same age, actually, rise into the sky in his white helicopter.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

People have the wrong idea about the Utah Legislature. It is commonly thought that our legislators are an embarrassing gaggle of nincompoops.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

“You can smell the ship,” said Errin Something or Other, the CNN news hostess, wrinkling her longish nose in disgust.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

With much of the discussion about allowing gay boys and men into the Boy Scouts now centering on the delectable irony of the Boy Scout founder, Lord Robert Stephensen Smyth Baden-Powell, being himself both a gay boy and a gay men, we thought it would be useful to go right to the horse’s mouth, as it were, and have a chat with a grand-nephew twice-removed of the great Boy Scout founder.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

Highly placed sources have confirmed that embattled Utah Attorney General John Swallow plans to use the controversial “Krispy Kreme defense” to fight charges of bribery in the notorious Jeremy Johnson case.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

It has now been decided that “injury timeouts,” for many years a key feature of professional tennis, will be extended to all walks of life.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

I almost didn’t pick up the call, but I’m glad I did. “Mr. Deep End?” The female voice was a bit breathy, reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe in her prime.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

No one appreciates their guns like the sovereign citizens of Utah, and already, plans are being made by gun lovers to show their gun love in a variety of venues throughout the Beehive State.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

At first, I thought the article in last week’s paper was a put-on (not to be confused with a hard-on), some sort of early April Fool’s joke that had made its way into print on a slow news day.]]> By D.P. Sorensen

Lost in the holiday hullabaloo was a physical altercation at a local mall between a group in favor of hugging and a group against hugging.]]>