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Eight ways not to begin the cover letter for your latest resume:
8. “While typing in MonsterBadonks.com, I accidentally clicked your job listing on Monster and figured, ‘What the hell?’ ”
7. “You may be familiar with my work as the bassist for Counting Crows.”
6. “Let me gauge your paradigm on this: The acceptable number of cocktails before noon is ___.”
5. “I’m sure you’ll be very impressed with my Klout ranking.”
4. “First things first: I’ll need at least an hour free every day to devote to my falconry.”
3. “I prefer cash under the table—no way my hell-bitch ex-wife is getting another cut.”
2. “You may be familiar with my work as ‘Turtle’ on the show Entourage.”
1. “I firmly believe newspapers are poised for a rebound …”
Speaking of ,
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Walk of Shame, The Lego Movie
New DVD/VOD Tuesday, June 17
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Drinking-Class Zero
Following a night of drinking, Wendy Simpson, 25, walked to a McDonald’s restaurant in West Yorkshire, England, where she was told that the counter was closed and only the drive-through was open but that she couldn’t be served
- Jun 16, 2014
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How to Train Your Dragon 2
Dragon 2 shows DreamWorks is still willing to be daring
- Jun 13, 2014
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True TV April 2024: Hidden gems on Tubi
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Flashback 2020: Lockdown TV
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Fox News is bad, but Utah's syndicated talk radio is even worse.
Radio Blah Blah
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