Resume Ruiners 

8 resume cover-letter don'ts

click to enlarge art14672widea.jpg

Eight ways not to begin the cover letter for your latest resume:

8. “While typing in MonsterBadonks.com, I accidentally clicked your job listing on Monster and figured, ‘What the hell?’ ”

7. “You may be familiar with my work as the bassist for Counting Crows.”

6. “Let me gauge your paradigm on this: The acceptable number of cocktails before noon is ___.”

5. “I’m sure you’ll be very impressed with my Klout ranking.”

4. “First things first: I’ll need at least an hour free every day to devote to my falconry.”

3. “I prefer cash under the table—no way my hell-bitch ex-wife is getting another cut.”

2. “You may be familiar with my work as ‘Turtle’ on the show Entourage.”

1. “I firmly believe newspapers are poised for a rebound …”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost | BillFrost.tv

Pin It
Favorite

Tags: , ,

Speaking of The Ocho, ,

  • Walk of Shame, The Lego Movie

    New DVD/VOD Tuesday, June 17
    • Jun 16, 2014
  • Drinking-Class Zero

    Following a night of drinking, Wendy Simpson, 25, walked to a McDonald’s restaurant in West Yorkshire, England, where she was told that the counter was closed and only the drive-through was open but that she couldn’t be served
    • Jun 16, 2014
  • Night Moves

    Night Moves is as terrific as it is frustrating
    • Jun 13, 2014
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

  • Dark Horse

    BoJack Horseman returns, tragicomic as ever; Looking says buh-bye.
    • Jul 20, 2016
  • School's In

    Vice Principals takes Eastbound & Down to class; BrainDead isn't dead yet.
    • Jul 13, 2016
  • Law & Disorder

    The Night Of takes on the (in)justice system; Mr. Robot is back for the re-hack.
    • Jul 6, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • Spooky & Lazy

    8 easy last-minute Halloween costumes
    • Oct 28, 2015
  • Tuned Out

    8 new radio stations coming soon to the already oversaturated Salt Lake City market
    • Oct 21, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

‚Äč

Readers also liked…

  • Obama & Utah

    8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
    • Apr 1, 2015
  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation