Resolution Redistribution 

Eight adjustments (already) to your New Year’s resolutions.

click to enlarge art12965widea.jpg
Eight adjustments (already) to your New Year’s resolutions:

8. “Lose weight” adjusted to “Make fatter friends.”

7. “Quit smoking” adjusted to “Only smoke when drinking. Or awake.”

6. “Get out of debt” adjusted to “Look into that Witness Relocation Program.”

5. “Quit drinking” adjusted to “Maybe only beer with breakfast.”

4. “Volunteer to help the indigent” adjusted to “Compliment a Juggalo’s dreads.”

3. “Get out of dead-end job” adjusted to “Look into that Witness Relocation Program.”

2. “Go back to school” adjusted to “Pick up more drunk college girls.”

1. “Spend more time with family” adjusted to “I forgot—my family sucks.”

Bill Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Speaking of...

  • Beer, Blues & Brats

    Tix Available for 5th Annual Crossroads Urban Center Benefit
    • Apr 14, 2015
  • Beer Week @ Hearth

    Ogden's Hearth on 25th Celebrates Brews & "Grassy" Blues with Utah Brewers Cooperative
    • Mar 3, 2015
  • Attention Beer Lovers!!!

    Epic Elder Brett Vertical Tasting at Avenues Proper
    • Jan 30, 2015
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

Latest in The Ocho

  • Hillary vs. Utah

    8 presidential candidates who would receive more votes in Utah than Hillary Clinton in 2016
    • Apr 22, 2015
  • Water Works

    8 ways for Utahns to preserve water in this low runoff season
    • Apr 15, 2015
  • Eat It

    8 local restaurants and bars that closed before we could review them
    • Apr 8, 2015
  • More »

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

© 2015 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation