Eight under-reported highlights from the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa this week:
8. Ron Paul’s stirring “Now I Know What ‘Legitimate Rape’ Feels Like” speech.
7. Rush Limbaugh reporting that Barack Obama not only controls the weather, but also Wikipedia and the America’s Best Dance Crew vote.
6. Bigfoot, Elvis and Ronald Reagan spotted dining at a local Hooters.
5. Mia Love powering through the line “Republicans like women” with a straight face.
4. Ann Romney powering through the line “No, really—Republicans like women” with a straight face.
3. Someone actually recognizing Convention band 3 Doors Down.
2. Cyborg Sen. Orrin Hatch arriving in a cloud of smoke from the year 2082 and telling Jason Chaffetz “Come with me if you want to live!”
1. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan receiving honorary doctorates from Handsome Boy Modeling School.