Eight things you’ll soon see on primetime TV should the Federal Communications Commission relax decency standards:
8. Dr. Oz’s After-Hours Sexytime Lounge
7. Law & Order: Gratuitous Decapitation Unit
6. 2 Really Broke Girls Willing to Do Pretty Much Anything
5. The XXX Factor
4. Actual Shark Tank
3. The Confirmed Bachelor
2. Happy Endings
1. Three hours of cooking shows nightly on KSL 5