If you picked up this copy of City Weekly on the day it came out, tomorrow is Christmas, aka The Great Annual Loot Re-Up. Since it's easier than ever to cop out with a nice gift card, many of us end up with a stack. Also, even if cash someday goes away, grandmas everywhere still find a way to tuck fivers into cards for their sweet little cherubs, leading to another stack of nice, untraceable currency. Which is cool, 'cause then we can get what we really wanted. But maybe you're one of those people that's, I dunno, content or—eeeeeww—grateful. You'll let those gift cards pile up because, gosh, you can't think of anything you need. Well, here—let me help you spend that stuff.
The Rolling Stones
12 X 5, Let It Bleed, Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out LPs with Limited-Edition Lithographs ($200 each)
What's better than regular vinyl? The heavy stuff, or the kind with pictures or pretty colors. What's better than a fake autograph? A real one. But suppose the celebrity whose John Hancock you want is dead (or close to it), and also legendary, and living on another continent surrounded by a security team? Well, then, I guess a facsimile will do. Especially if it looks legit. And boy, do these limited-edition Rolling Stones platters—on clear vinyl, with accompanying hand-numbered, museum-quality 20-inch by 24-inch (16-inch by 16-inch viewable) matted lithographs with sweet silver, stamped signatures from Mick, Keef, Bill, Charlie and even the late Brian Jones. Only 2,500 of each album were made, and they've already destroyed the plates. Get 'em while they're hot!
The Gathering Storm: A Quartet in Several Parts ($50)
Although Storm Thorgerson died in 2013, the acclaimed album-cover designer's work is immortal. He created the iconic art for almost every Pink Floyd release, including Dark Side of the Moon, as well as Led Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy, and scores of other noteworthy covers by The Mars Volta, Muse, the Catherine Wheel, XTC and the Wombats. The Gathering Storm posthumously collects many of these sublimely trippy images in this 272-page, 9 1/4-inch by 12-inch tome, along with Thorgerson's thoughts on their creation. The text is scanty but engrossing, while the images are copious time-sinks. That's because they're almost all meticulously staged photos, not paintings. Realizing that means staring at each image and being captivated by Thorgerson's imagination and genius.
By Storm Thorgerson
Zakk Wylde Figure ($25)
You're never too old for toys, no matter what your wife says. The way you justify them is to say they're collectibles that grow in value the longer you hold on to them. Someday that 7-inch-tall Zakk Wylde bobblehead from Guitar Gods collectibles, of which only 1,500 were made, will be worth more than that piddly 401K. While you're at it, pick up this Vincent Price figure from Rue Morgue RIPpers and be doubly enriched; if only you hadn't opened it up and made it dance to "Thriller."
Vincent Price Figure ($30)
Bloodshot Six-Pack To-Go: Working Songs for the Drinking Class ($35)
The original insurgent country label Bloodshot Records is finally of drinking age! To celebrate their 21st birthday, the Chicago music purveyors are selling these six-packs of 7-inch records featuring songs about drinking by roster artists and acts on loan from other labels. The former group is represented by The Yawpers ("3 Days Sober"), Banditos' (The Bad Lovers' "Askin' for Disaster"), Bobby Bare, Jr. (and one-time Bloodshot publicist-turned-singer of international renown, Kelly Hogan) and Nora O'Connor (The Blacks), who perform Ron Sexsmith's "Me, Myself and Wine" under the name Lady Parts. The latter group features Deer Tick (The Pogues' "If I Should Fall from Grace with God"), Dale Watson (Merle Haggard's "The Bottle Never Let Me Down"), The Bad Lovers (Banditos' "Still Sober After All These Beers"), Elizabeth Cook (the Dead Kennedys' "Too Drunk To Fuck"), Robert Pollard (covering his old band's "Drinker's Peace") and more. If you act now, the first 500 copies include a seventh record featuring Devil in a Woodpile ("Sloppy Drunk Blues") and Tijuana Hercules ("Steppin & Steppin"). They call that a Chicago six-pack.