Paula Jones and Other Scum 

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Wait just a second. Since when did Paula “He Showed It To Me” Jones become the “woman we love to hate,” as one Deseret News columnist recently labeled her on the eve of her boxing debut with Tanya “Knee Cap” Harding. Either we were hallucinating over here at SmartBomb, or the D-News was among the right-leaning newspapers that took Clinton-hating to heart and then overboard.

But since Paula, the woman who almost brought down a president (no pun intended), got her nose straightened, her teeth fixed and her breasts splashed across Penthouse magazine, she’s the woman we love to hate? Not so fast there, Limbaugh breath. It was, as you Clinton-haters will recall, David Brock who introduced Paula Jones to America through his story, “Troopergate.” Brock was a writer for the American Spectator, a right-wing organ funded by Pittsburgh millionaire Richard Mellon Scaife. Scaife through the Spectator and with help from folks like Ted Olson, who was appointed U.S. Solicitor General by George W. Bush, launched the “Arkansas Project,” aimed at mining dirt on Bubba.

Brock, who was also the author of The Real Anita Hill, became the darling of right-wing zealots like Rush Limbaugh when his book labeled the law professor who testified against Clarence Thomas as “a little bit nutty and a little bit slutty.” But in his latest effort, Blinded by the Right, Brock comes clean in a mea culpa admitting that the material on Hill and Clinton was not accurate and in some cases was fabricated. Indeed, he now says, there was a right-wing conspiracy to get Clinton and he was one of the hit men.

Hmmm. Here at SmartBomb, we can’t seem to recall hearing from D-News editorialists on that one. Hello, Deseret News editorial writers, did you miss that one?

* Earlier this month, Independent Counsel Robert Ray, who took Clinton-hater In Chief Kenneth Starr’s place, wrapped up the $70 million Whitewater investigation, saying he had ample evidence to bring charges against the former president but decided not to. Yeah, right.

As you’ll recall, the investigation opened in 1994 into a real estate deal that involved a failed savings and loan in Little Rock. Clinton was later impeached, not for bank fraud, or real estate fraud or for anything remotely tied to Whitewater, but for apparently lying about getting oral sex with a White House intern. It was the Paula Jones case that brought The Monica to light.

But now, suddenly, the Deseret News, along with many other conservative organs, are calling Paula Jones “the woman we love to hate.” Give us a break. Maybe it’s time for them to follow Brock’s example and come clean. Don’t worry, we won’t hold our breath.

* From our “The More Things Stay The Same”-file, this: President Bush has hired six of Ronald Reagan’s Iran-Contra scandal henchmen to help out here and there in his administration. Among them is former National Security Adviser John Poindexter, who was convicted of five felony counts of conspiracy. The conviction was later overturned. Another new hire is Elliott Abrams, the former assistant secretary of State, who pleaded guilty to withholding information from Congress. He was later pardoned by Dubya’s dad.

So where’s Ollie North? Certainly Dubya must have a job for that patriot, too.

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