Paris Match | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Paris Match 

Hilton and Hillary team up to tart up the campaign.

Pin It
Favorite

The hottest new video circulating on YouTube these days shows Hillary Clinton and Paris Hilton singing a duet of Cyndi Lauper’s classic, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” Veteran political pundits have mixed opinions on the wisdom of Hillary whooping it up with Paris, but most people who have seen the video think it is really cool.



“Yeah, it sure is a cute clip,” said former Reagan insider Ed Schreiber. “But I think it was a huge miscalculation. I felt embarrassed for Hillary when she joined Paris in what looks like some sort of can-can routine. Within minutes, that Ann Coulter gal was saying nasty things about Hillary’s legs and her sexual orientation.



“But at least Hillary and Paris didn’t do a Madonna-and-Britney-Spears French kiss at the end of the song. If Hillary had done that, she could have kissed her presidential chances goodbye.

The Hillary campaign says the video has long been in the making and wasn’t just an attempt to capitalize on Paris Hilton’s surging popularity following her release from the Lynwood lock-up facility in Los Angeles. Top aides told City Weekly in an exclusive video-conference interview that Paris has been hired on as an all-purpose consultant, helping with media coverage, fund-raising and beauty tips.



“Not only is Paris plugged into L.A.’s hot party scene, she’s also deeply concerned about the pressing issues of our day,” said Helene Furstenberg, a Wellesley classmate of Hillary’s who now oversees day-to-day campaign operations for Team Hillary. “I get so mad at Dan Rather when he says we’ve hired Paris to tart things up a bit. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anyone knows tarts, it’s Hillary and, believe you me, she’s not about to bring a tart on board. Bill has been behaving himself for quite a while now, and he’s fully behind Paris, having interviewed her extensively both before she went to jail and afterwards.

The first indication that a Hillary/Hilton connection was in the works came during the in-depth interview conducted by Larry King. Paris had just been sprung from the hoosegow and viewers all over the world were glued to their sets to get a glimpse of the leggy and lissome heiress. In a riveting hour of must-see TV, Ms. Hilton read from her prison journal, expatiated on the nature of injustice, and spoke movingly of her struggle to keep her voice from going really high when she gets nervous.



On the face of it, the interview seemed to be a somewhat disjointed all over the map sort of deal, frequently falling off the map altogether. This may have been due to Paris’ admitted attention-deficit disorder (“It’s hard to pay attention to things and I don’t know, I just …”) or her complex character (“I’m an Aquarius. We’re social people. I’ve always had a sense of spirituality.”). Or maybe it was the fault of King, who seemed to come alive only when he was asking dirty-old-man questions about what it was like to be strip-searched. (For the record, “Really gross.”)



In any event, just as the interview threatened to dwindle into total inanity, it was rescued by a timely Oprah-like call from Hillary. She congratulated Hilton on changing her life, complimented her on her performance in House of Wax and offered her a tip on how to keep her voice from going really high when she gets nervous. “I’ve found that spiking your coffee with bourbon does the trick,” Hillary said in a deep baritone.



After exchanging a few pleasantries with the former First Lady, King, his voice betraying not the slightest nervousness, asked her if she herself had ever been strip-searched.



“I’m glad you asked that question, Larry” Clinton replied. “Actually, no, but if the occasion ever arises, I’ll let you do the honors.” Larry then asked if Hillary and Bill have any more spoofs like the one they did on The Sopranos. “Let’s talk,” Hillary said coyly.



After the show, representatives of Larry, Hillary and Paris met to discuss the possibility of a video spoof of Big Love, said to be the former president’s favorite series. Word is that Hillary wants to play Lois, Paris is itching to play the dewy-eyed Sarah and Bill is eager to play Bill. King is a natural to play patriarch Roman, while Coulter is being approached to play Roman’s horse.

Pin It
Favorite

More by D.P. Sorensen

  • The Dog in Winter

    For some, December is the cruelest month.
    • Dec 18, 2013
  • The Cool Factor

    Anything Pope Francis can do, Utahns can do better
    • Dec 11, 2013
  • Road Rage

    Cyclists pay more attention to spandex than street signs
    • Dec 4, 2013
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Life Elevated

    While a repackaged hate-crimes bill stalled in the legislative session, a Blue Lives Matter bill sailed through.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Utah and Booze

    A complicated relationship.
    • Mar 22, 2017
  • Secret Agent

    In the aftermath of the Swallow acquittal, questions dog a state investigator.
    • Mar 15, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Shot Down

    Youth shot by police near the downtown shelter struggles to rebuild his life.
    • May 11, 2016
  • Killing Fields

    Utah pays hunters $500,000 a year to kill coyotes
    • Sep 9, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation