Eight urgent corrections to the announced list of 2012 Academy Awards nominations:
8. Should George Clooney win for Best Actor, he will be required to destroy all prints of The Ides of March.
7. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close should be up for Sound Mixing, obviously.
6. The Documentary Feature nomination for Undefeated was meant to go to Sarah Palin doc THE Undefeated.
5. Bridesmaids’ nomination for Original Screenplay was meant to be Original Scatplay.
4. Chico & Rita is withdrawn from Animated Feature as it stars no wisecracking animals.
3. War Horse is withdrawn from all categories, as it is also not a wisecracking animal.
2. Any nominations for The Artist are withdrawn, as it’s in black & white and nobody talks.
1. Any Oscar nominations for Drive were actually meant for Drive Angry 3D.
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