Eight quick-reference cheats for Oscar-nominated films you haven’t seen:
8. Life of Pi: An Indian boy and a tiger take a less-stressful boat trip than a Carnival Cruise.
7. Django Unchained: Ray Charles kills all of the white people in Mississippi, including Gilbert Grape’s little brother.
6. Silver Linings Playbook: Phil from The Hangover and Katniss discover bi-polar love at a special-ed dance competition.
5. Lincoln: The 16th President of the United States drinks no milkshakes nor hunts any vampires.
4. Zero Dark Thirty: Mama and Andy from Parks & Recreation kill Osama Bin Laden in just under three hours.
3. Beasts of the Southern Wild: Spoiler alert: A storm wipes out southern Louisiana.
2. Argo: Daredevil and Walter White make a fake movie about aliens to save Americans and Canadians from Iranians.
1. Les Miserables: Wolverine and Catwoman sing loudly at Robin Hood and Borat.