Eight bizarre Utah news developments that The Ocho didn’t even make up:
8. Outgoing senator Chris Buttars has been replaced with an Osmond.
7. Utah is now the first (and only) state with an Official Gun, and it doesn’t even squirt.
6. The state is closing and/or cutting the hours of several profitable liquor stores.
5. (Soon) related: Utah is refusing $100 million in federal unemployment assistance.
4. Salt Lake City is welcoming a Mormon Vatican/Disneyland to downtown.
3. The Utah Jazz are still getting paid millions to play only slightly better basketball than the Utah Grizzlies.
2. Utah now recognizes gold and silver as legal tender. Even though they already were.
1. City Weekly gave KSL’s Doug Wright a Best of Utah award last week.