No Thanks | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

No Thanks 

Eight texts to get you out of spending Thanksgiving with your family

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge news_ocho_161124-f1df32185a9914e9.jpg
8. “Our popular vote said we’d come, but our electoral vote was a hard no. Sorry!”
7. “Your grandson’s hand-turkey drawings are just GARBAGE. We’re not ready to present them at this time.”
6. “Will dinner be locally sourced and address my gluten and wheat concerns? And my dog’s?”
5. “If my Tinder date gets there before me, just let him in. He’s OK; he did his time.”
4. “Did you get a Blu-ray player yet? I’m bringing my entire Michael Moore collection.”
3. “I just picked up some killer vape juice for the weekend, cuz!”
2. “I’ll need your Wi-Fi password and commenter login for Breibart.com. No reason. Don’t worry about it.”
1. “New phone. Who dis?”

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Eco Chamber

    Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • Final Exit

    Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid's Tale goes darker.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • Robot Roll Call!

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 returns; Fargo spins another frozen fable.
    • Apr 12, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Eco Chamber

    Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • Easter? Barely Knew Her

    Eight fun factoids about Easter.
    • Apr 12, 2017
  • Hardly Art

    Eight Utah “state works of art” that deserve as much designation as the Spiral Jetty
    • Apr 5, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Red, White & Blew

    8 lesser-known patriotic songs for your 9/11 Spotify playlist
    • Sep 9, 2015
  • Get Chaffetzed

    8 campaign slogans for Jason Chaffetz's run for Speaker of the House
    • Oct 7, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation