No Lilith Fair for Utah 

Eight reasons you didn't buy Lilith Fair tickets.

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click to enlarge Sarah McLachlan comforts a sick puppy.
  • Sarah McLachlan comforts a sick puppy.
Eight reasons you didn’t buy tickets for Lilith Fair, which has canceled its summer tour stop in Salt Lake City and nine other dates:

8. Couldn’t bear to see a talentless skank like Ke$ha sharing a stage with Emmylou Harris.

7. Didn’t want to suffer through that old lady Emmylou what’s-her-name just to watch Ke$ha’s awesome set.

6. Was more looking forward to hitting the Sublime reunion show and … dude, what?!

5. It was on a Monday night—like I’m gonna miss Cake Boss.

4. Was afraid Sarah McLachlan would drag a bunch of sick puppies and kittens onstage.

3. Saving up summer concert dollars to see vital, relevant artists like Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan … before they die.

2. Lilith Fair was coming? Is it 1997 already?

1.
If I wanted to see a dozen dour women in long dresses singing about “feelings,” I’d stay home on my compound.
Bill Frost:

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