No Fireworks for You 

8 alternatives to air-polluting holiday fireworks, from the office of SLC Mayor Ralph Becker

art19199.jpg

Eight alternatives to air-polluting holiday fireworks, from the office of SLC Mayor Ralph Becker:

8. “Try rubbing your eyes really, really hard.”

7. “Let’s all ride our bikes to 13th South and watch the Salt Lake Bees’ fireworks from the 7-Eleven parking lot—who’s with me?”

6. “I’ve found that a brightly-colored sweater vest usually gets the party started.”

5. “It has to start somewhere—better here than with tax-paying corporate polluters.”

4. “Maybe attend the rodeo before I shut down that savagery, too.”

3. “Lasers. Remember the Laser Pink Floyd shows? I was like, dude …”

2. “Go out to the suburbs. Those hillbillies will be blowing up their Wyoming stashes all summer.”

1. “How do you feel about breathing? Like that? You’re welcome.”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Dark Horse

    BoJack Horseman returns, tragicomic as ever; Looking says buh-bye.
    • Jul 20, 2016
  • School's In

    Vice Principals takes Eastbound & Down to class; BrainDead isn't dead yet.
    • Jul 13, 2016
  • Law & Disorder

    The Night Of takes on the (in)justice system; Mr. Robot is back for the re-hack.
    • Jul 6, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • Spooky & Lazy

    8 easy last-minute Halloween costumes
    • Oct 28, 2015
  • Tuned Out

    8 new radio stations coming soon to the already oversaturated Salt Lake City market
    • Oct 21, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

‚Äč

Readers also liked…

  • Obama & Utah

    8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
    • Apr 1, 2015
  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation