New Moon Surprises 

Eight surprises in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, opening this weekend.

click to enlarge art9704widea.jpg

Eight surprises in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, opening this weekend (spoiler alert!):

8. In addition to werewolves, the pretty new Manatee Boys will also play a larger role. Literally.

7. The estranged character of vampire Edward will appear primarily in Muppet form.

6. Coreys Haim and Feldman will have uncredited cameos as vamp-fightin’ townies.

5. Bella’s role will be expanded from passive doormat to semi-reactive doormat.

4. It will be revealed that the vampires’ “sparkle” is caused by overuse of Astroglide.

3. New Moon’s laugh track will be presented in high-def digital surround-sound in select theaters.

2. The Burger King product placement will be discreet; you won’t even notice the Broody Double Whopper.

1. The vampires and werewolves will set aside their differences to put on the best musical this high school has ever seen.

Pin It

Speaking of The Ocho

  • Get a Job!

    8 red-flag phrases in local Craigslist job listings
    • May 7, 2014
  • Drinko de Mayo

    8 gringo drink specials to avoid on Cinco de Mayo
    • Apr 30, 2014
  • Utah ... Man?

    8 proposed "inclusive" lyric changes to the University of Utah's fight song
    • Apr 9, 2014
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

  • Dark Horse

    BoJack Horseman returns, tragicomic as ever; Looking says buh-bye.
    • Jul 20, 2016
  • School's In

    Vice Principals takes Eastbound & Down to class; BrainDead isn't dead yet.
    • Jul 13, 2016
  • Law & Disorder

    The Night Of takes on the (in)justice system; Mr. Robot is back for the re-hack.
    • Jul 6, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • Spooky & Lazy

    8 easy last-minute Halloween costumes
    • Oct 28, 2015
  • Tuned Out

    8 new radio stations coming soon to the already oversaturated Salt Lake City market
    • Oct 21, 2015
  • More »


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment


Readers also liked…

  • Obama & Utah

    8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
    • Apr 1, 2015

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation