Murphy’s Toast, Jell-O on Top 

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KTVX Channel 4, in a move that can only be described as cosmetic or bottom-line, has sacked veteran newsman Paul Murphy. After 11 years on the job at KTVX, Murphy got a pink slip because new station managers apparently “didn’t like the package.” Wait a second, we think Murphy is pretty darn cute.

The move comes despite Murphy’s numerous awards and a stint as president of the Utah affiliate of the Society of Professional Journalists—not to mention that he is well-respected and has access to a trove of sources. He will work through February and then …well, look for him under the viaduct.


Speaking of dumb media moves, comedian Bill Cosby made the front page of the Deseret News and The Salt Lake Tribune recently when he visited the state Legislature to applaud Utah for being No. 1 in the consumption of Jell-O. Both papers blew out huge three-column photos of Cosby and Lt. Gov. Olene Walker making faces that looked like someone having oral sex. Hey, isn’t that illegal in Utah?

After losing out to Iowa for the past two years, Utah has recaptured the Jell-O crown. Whoopteedo! Blow out the front page, we’re numero uno again!


Important footnote: Jell-O shooters made with vodka or tequila were not officially recognized by Utah lawmakers and do not have their blessing. Jell-O shooters will not be available at Olympic venues—so don’t even start. (We’re unsure, however, where Mayor Rocky Anderson stands on this.)


Well, here we are, just one year from Salt Lake City’s Olympic Games. You may be excited but the folks at the International Olympic Committee aren’t, dodging the usual one-year-to-go ceremony. They hate Salt Lake City for the stain the bribery scandal brought upon the Lords of the Rings and how it exposed them and their movement as a bunch of pompous money-grubbing sycophants. Hey, if the helmet fits …


And speaking of oral sex, state Sen. Bill Wright, a Republican from Elberta, has teamed up with Gayle Ruzicka—the real porn czar—to push new legislation that would keep high school teachers from saying too much about sex. Last year, Wright and Ruzicka successfully passed a law that forbade teachers to advise students about any means of birth control other than abstinence, and to teach students that fornication is illegal. Gov. Mike Leavitt vetoed the measure, so it’s back to the drawing board. As Ruzicka told us here at Smartbomb recently, “You can legislate morality.”


And finally, this from our “Friendly Folks at TRAX” file: A loyal City Weekly reader stopped by to show us a citation he received while riding TRAX. It carries a $50 fine for “feet on seat.” TRAX officials told the man that if he didn’t pay up they would sic a collection agency on him, and he would be banned from the train until he paid. If caught riding TRAX, he will be arrested for trespassing. Happy trails and keep you damn feet off the damn seat!

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