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Board With Security

What is it about Traps Boards and Apparel, located along 1300 East, that would make even the most upper-level security g-man lose his most important security papers regarding the safety of our frail vice president? If this is indicative of our nation’s security talent in a post-Sept. 11 world, we’re doomed.

According to shop clerk John Bish, these vital papers detailing the veep’s every coming and going were found on the front counter, right near the cash register.

All that’s known for certain is that the papers were lost shortly before the Winter Olympics’ Closing Ceremonies. They were politely returned to security headquarters by shop management, but that didn’t stop security personnel from interviewing the whole shop staff the following day. Shop management requested an autographed picture of Cheney, Bish said. They never got one. “The plan was pretty descriptive,” Bish said. “It’s a good thing it didn’t fall into the wrong hands.” BEN

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