8. Full-year subscription to Box Wine Spectator magazine.
7. Our Lil’ Bastard child-DNA tester from SkyMall.
6. Use of the TV remote (10 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday, May 9, only).
5. Ed Hardy for Moms $75 gift card.
4. The Complete Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD box set.
3. Front-row tickets to Glenn Beck’s American Revival tour at EnergySolutions Arena.
2. Pre-approved application to appear on ABC’s Wife Swap.
1. CougarGrip 5000 home vaginal-rejuvenation kit from QVC.