Lake Effect: Tappy Feet | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Lake Effect: Tappy Feet 

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art6587widea.jpg

Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, isn’t gay, never has been. He said so himself. Obviously, what was really happening in that airport stall was a little-known Republican ritual, using hand and foot signals to communicate political strategies.

Before more not-gay Republicans attempt to do this, though, they’d better get all the facts about complex Republican bathroom-stall etiquette. For instance, Craig’s foot tap followed by the swish of his palm under the stall meant, “Golly, the GOP sure is getting pounded in the polls!”

Two taps, a swish and a tap means, “No, kidding—we sure pulled a boner this time! We’ve got to bend over backward if we expect anybody to pull the GOP lever in 2008.”

And, finally, a slow swish followed by three taps in rapid succession means, “Well, could be worse—at least the ‘values voters’ are still on our side. Can you imagine how hard it would be if we had to put up with homosexuals in our party?”
cw
Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Brandon Burt

Latest in News

  • Tested

    Utah AIDS Foundation continues free clinic in the face of possible funding cuts.
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • The Touhy God

    The hand of the federal government lies heavily on the state's prosecutions of two former AGs on corruption charges.
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • Pinball Wizards

    For many, old-school arcade game sits at the intersection of solace and skill.
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Keeping the Faith

    Mormon feminist blog gives younger LDS women a forum to speak out
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • Silent Survivors

    A women-only shelter might be insufficient to address needs of sex workers and the crime that often accompanies them.
    • Nov 30, 2016

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation