Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays 

Pin It
click to enlarge art7274widea.jpg

nAsk homophobes why gays and lesbians should not have equal rights, and they are likely to give you any number of reasons, including:

Gays are a threat to traditional marriage.


Gays already have equal rights, and are only seeking special treatment.


Gays represent society’s moral decline.


Same-sex marriages don’t produce children. (Shh! Don’t tell them about adoption or in vitro.)


Indeed, a homophobe will tell you just about anything but the truth, which is:


I just don’t like gay people.


A hatred of gays is the organizing principle upon which my value system is based.


There’s no such thing as homophobia, you gay-loving pervert.


Kudos, then, to Valerie Mills of Bountiful who, during an interim session of the Legislature last week, proposed a new addition to the shopworn litany for those who suffer from the phobia that dare not speak its name.


Anxiety over the marriage-rights issue causes obesity in children.


There you have it! Gay marriages may not make children—but, apparently, they make children fat.

Pin It


More by Brandon Burt

Latest in News

  • Heavy Pedal

    Road to regulate bike taxis bumpy, protracted.
    • Oct 19, 2016
  • Thanks for Nothing

    Tragic details of a young man's suicide in a Utah prison cell are brought back to life by his grandma's lawsuit.
    • Oct 12, 2016
  • Balk the Vote

    Nonprofit sets sights on re-energizing young voters.
    • Oct 5, 2016
  • More »


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Drawn & Catered

    If you order catered pizza for your reception, I ain't coming
    • Apr 8, 2015
  • No Way Out

    Recent death of a veteran prosecutor highlights trend of suicide by child porn suspects.
    • Aug 10, 2016

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation