How to Get Cited on Main Street | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

How to Get Cited on Main Street 

Eight actions that will get you cited and/or arrested by the Salt Lake Police Department on Main Street downtown.

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art12400widea.jpg

Eight actions that will get you cited and/or arrested by the Salt Lake Police Department on Main Street downtown:

8. Urinating on KUTV 2’s studio wall.

7. Urinating on KUTV 2’s reporters during street shots (Ron Bird excluded).

6. Arriving to work before 11 a.m. (City Weekly employees only).

5. Staging bridal-fashion shoots with models who’ve clearly never been outside of Sandy.

4. Failure to refrain from pointing and laughing at SLPD officers on Segways.

3. Skateboarding over the age of 30; reading Utah Stories under the age of 40.

2. Eating at Jimmy John’s when there are, like, a dozen good sandwich shops in the area.

1. Impersonating a Juggalo.

Bill Frost:

Pin It
Favorite

Speaking of...

  • Get a Job!

    8 red-flag phrases in local Craigslist job listings
    • May 7, 2014
  • Drinko de Mayo

    8 gringo drink specials to avoid on Cinco de Mayo
    • Apr 30, 2014
  • Utah ... Man?

    8 proposed "inclusive" lyric changes to the University of Utah's fight song
    • Apr 9, 2014
  • More »

More by Bill Frost

  • The White Stuff

    Dear White People aims to expand minds; American Gods arrives to blow 'em.
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Do Your (Other) Job

    Eight temporary private-sector jobs for future Utah guv Jason Chaffetz:
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Final Exit

    Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid's Tale goes darker.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

‚Äč

Readers also liked…

  • Red, White & Blew

    8 lesser-known patriotic songs for your 9/11 Spotify playlist
    • Sep 9, 2015
  • Get Chaffetzed

    8 campaign slogans for Jason Chaffetz's run for Speaker of the House
    • Oct 7, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation