Eight arguments for re-electing Gov. Gary Herbert this year:
8. The Ocho’s “Herbie the Wonder Weasel” nickname needs another term to catch on.
7. He’s finally worn a perfect butt-groove into his favorite office chair.
6. As well as his favorite construction-site hardhat.
5. All of those questionable, quasi-legal contributions to his campaign would just go to waste.
4. His re-election would ensure steady employment numbers—mostly at Mr. Mac.
3. Lt. Gov. Greg Bell would have to start paying for his own Burning Man tickets again.
2. Herbert’s only two punches away from that free haircut on his Great Clips card.
1. His potential Republican opponents are driven, right-wing nutjobs; Herbert’s a pleasantly ineffectual right-wing nutjob.