Mystery Mail and U.N. Capers
Last week, this column recounted the best (or best of worst) anti-Kerry e-mails generated by the Republican National Convention and its commander in chief, Chairman Ed Gillespie. Along that same line, this week’s column currency proudly trots out the latest Bush-Cheney ’04 mailing, which arrived at my apartment mailbox late last week. That a fund-raising request from the president would make its way into my mail probably says more about the staggering campaign-fund largesse of the RNC than it does about the accuracy of its mailing list.
When a political party has that much money, they’re no doubt sending mailings to Berkeley and Cambridge, Mass. Then again, in Utah you need only swing your arm to hit a Republican, so odds of mailing to a secret colleague increase almost exponentially. Lest anyone worry about the alliance of this columnist, please read on.
& ull; “Do Not Bend! Presidential Photo Enclosed.” Dutifully following the envelope’s command, the inside revealed a stunning photo of the president and wife, Laura. “Your photo is a symbol of the commitment we share—the commitment between you, the Bush-Cheney ’04 campaign and President Bush.” The funding request went on to chide currency-trading whiz and committed liberal George Soros for comparing President Bush “to a Nazi.” This, of course, brought on an avalanche of thoughts prompted by a simple reading of the news.
& ull; Choice of words: If Bush is indeed allergic to fascist comparisons why, then, does he tout “an agenda that continues the War on Terrorism and protects the homeland”? The word “homeland” has of course been with us ever since the founding of the Department of Homeland Security. However, the word echoes the bridge between Soviet-era rhetoric and Nazi propaganda so clearly it makes you shiver.
& ull; Did you, or have you ever, had an abortion? In a little-known news item by The Associated Press, Attorney General John Ashcroft has issued an official government subpoena to obtain abortion records from six hospitals after doctors joined a suit against President Bush’s Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act. How long before the government starts knocking on your door?
& ull; Just Testing: Not happy with the latest figures showing that drug use among American teenagers is on the decline, Bush wants $23 million in federal money to extend random drug testing in the nation’s high schools before students may even join the chess team. The real blame rests in the Supreme Court’s 1995 decision that schools have the right to randomly test students, but it takes a president to secure funding.
& ull; Rep. Don Bush would be proud: Never mind the Clearfield Republican’s twice-bombed resolution in the Utah Legislature that the United States take its toys out of the U.N.’s sandbox, the international body has more important concerns. British intelligence agents Katharine Gun and Clare Short spilled the beans about our nation’s astonishing request that British agents spy on U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan and bug the homes of U.N. Security Council members prior to the invasion of Iraq. In a state where hating the United Nations is a pastime, no one expresses outrage about such brazen underhandedness. Even the British government declined to prosecute Gun for leaking the memo detailing the United State’s request. “It would not be appropriate for me to go into the reasons behind that,” a British prosecutor told the A.P. Gee, maybe embarrassment is sufficient.