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Bomb! Or Not …

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Right around deadline time Tuesday afternoon, the City Weekly offices were evacuated due to a bomb threat/hoax across Main Street in the Well Fargo building. It was comforting to later learn that we were the last people on the block to be informed of the situation and prompted to get out of a potential blast’s way—good to be loved; thanks, neighbors! What, you think we’re up on the news or something? Naturally, City Weekly management herded us out of the office and straight to Port O’ Call for drinks—to stave off pre-traumatic syndrome, apparently. Beer in hand and computer on lap, the news unfolded ever so slowly online and on the club’s TVs, leaving Frost Bytes to wonder how KSL 5, three blocks away, broke the story before KUTV 2 right there on Main Street did. Or why The Salt Lake Tribune’s Website described a camouflage T-shirt with a cartoon on the front worn by the suspected bomber as “military style”—what army is that? Guess I need another beer …

• If you caught the debut of VH1’s latest post-Flavor of Love skankfest Rock of Love last weekend (and why wouldn’t you have?), you may have recognized at least one of the ladies: former local media semi-celebrity Krista Simonsen, who worked PR for the now-defunct Utah Warriors arena football team and did weather reports on Channel 30 (clothed) and “naughty” nightlife Website SaltLakeAfterDark.com (undies only). Then again, Simonsen and her teeth didn’t get much screen time before Rock of Love bachelor/Poison singer Bret Michaels eliminated her and several other wallflowers (read: didn’t get drunk and start fights—don’t they know anything about reality dating shows?) at the end of the first episode. Utahns (and ex-Utahns) just can’t catch a break on reality-romance shows—unless they’re dancing, anyway.

• Ms. Simonsen’s fast facts from VH1: “Hometown: Bountiful, Utah … Was married before for only 10 months … Could not survive if she couldn’t shop … Has a musical note tattooed on her lower back.” Damn, she sounds like a perfect candidate to be a rock star’s girlfriend. Or at least a radio DJ’s—this could be another hit reality show!

• If the Los Angeles Galaxy, and Major League Soccer in general, were hoping David Beckham and wife Victoria’s NBC reality show was going to generate some much-needed buzz for the sport in America, they must be just thrilled with what they got: a six-part series that was pared down to a single hour last Monday night because the British pair were too dull and arrogant (a rare combo) even for reality TV. Still, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America almost matched far-more-interesting Brit Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen ratings on Fox, so maybe America is ready for imported plastic celebrities taking our plastic celebrities’ jobs and the Minutemen aren’t going to build a wall along the eastern seaboard, after all. Good to know.
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