Two days after John Saltas complained about airport groping [“Airport Fondling,” Private Eye, Nov. 25, City Weekly], a Muslim was arrested after he tried to blow up a Portland Christmas tree lighting ceremony, shouting “God is great!” after being taken into custody.
This time, we are not fighting some wussy Hitler, we are fighting God. And as long as God exists (forever), Muslims will be obeying him (forever). And just as we gave up some freedoms while fighting Hitler (five years), we must give up even more freedoms while fighting God (forever).
If you are not willing to expose yourself to a scanner or groper, stay home. But we should look at security from a different angle. Exposing yourself in airports, train stations and bus stations should be a patriotic duty you perform with pride. Consider it as an extension of your freedom.
Salt Lake City