Fore! | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly


8 reasons to keep Salt Lake City's struggling public golf courses open

Pin It

8. Scruffy caddies and upper-crust golfers have to battle hilariously somewhere.

7. Same goes for psychotic groundskeepers, mischievous gophers and Kenny Loggins.

6. Face it: Golf courses are the only place where electric cars are worth a damn.

5. The only other sport the "athletes" of golf are in shape for is watching golf on TV.

4. You try closing a multi-million-dollar deal on a miniature golf course.

3. Without golf courses, it would be impossible to tell sportsmen apart from lesbians.

2. Water-sucking golf courses are a natural ecological element of the desert. It's science.

1. Without golf, Bud Lime-drinking white dudes in khaki shorts can convene only once a year at a 311 concert.

Pin It


More by Bill Frost

  • The White Stuff

    Dear White People aims to expand minds; American Gods arrives to blow 'em.
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Do Your (Other) Job

    Eight temporary private-sector jobs for future Utah guv Jason Chaffetz:
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Final Exit

    Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid's Tale goes darker.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho


Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment


Readers also liked…

  • Red, White & Blew

    8 lesser-known patriotic songs for your 9/11 Spotify playlist
    • Sep 9, 2015
  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation