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Fore!
8 reasons to keep Salt Lake City's struggling public golf courses open
By Bill Frost @bill_frost
8. Scruffy caddies and upper-crust golfers have to battle hilariously somewhere.
7. Same goes for psychotic groundskeepers, mischievous gophers and Kenny Loggins.
6. Face it: Golf courses are the only place where electric cars are worth a damn.
5. The only other sport the "athletes" of golf are in shape for is watching golf on TV.
4. You try closing a multi-million-dollar deal on a miniature golf course.
3. Without golf courses, it would be impossible to tell sportsmen apart from lesbians.
2. Water-sucking golf courses are a natural ecological element of the desert. It's science.
1. Without golf, Bud Lime-drinking white dudes in khaki shorts can convene only once a year at a 311 concert.
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