Hooky for Prez | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Hooky for Prez 

Eight ways the candidates might get out of the Sept. 26 presidential debate

Pin It
Favorite
Untitled Document
click to enlarge news_ocho1-1.jpg
8. Hillary Clinton will produce an “excused” note from her physician, Dr. Satan.
7. Donald Trump won’t appear unless moderators sign his “No Math, Geography or Other Very Bad Questions” agreement.
6. Clinton forgets to renew her auto-pay account with The Liberal Media.
5. Trump’s custom podium construction falls behind schedule due to lack of Mexican laborers.
4. Clinton will stay home and send in her body double (Saturday Night Live’s Kate McKinnon).
3. Trump refuses to go to Hofstra University because nickname “The Pride” could be “a gay thing or whatever.”
2. Clinton fakes her own death and retires to Celebrity Afterlife Island® with Lemmy and Prince.
1. Trump and Clinton take a “relaxation” break at 4:20 with Gary Johnson and just forget to show up.

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • The White Stuff

    Dear White People aims to expand minds; American Gods arrives to blow 'em.
    • Apr 26, 2017
  • Final Exit

    Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid's Tale goes darker.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • Eco Chamber

    Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Eco Chamber

    Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017.
    • Apr 19, 2017
  • Easter? Barely Knew Her

    Eight fun factoids about Easter.
    • Apr 12, 2017
  • Hardly Art

    Eight Utah “state works of art” that deserve as much designation as the Spiral Jetty
    • Apr 5, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Ocho, Out

    8 reasons The Ocho has been canceled
    • Nov 4, 2015
  • Red, White & Blew

    8 lesser-known patriotic songs for your 9/11 Spotify playlist
    • Sep 9, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation