Hooky for Prez 

Eight ways the candidates might get out of the Sept. 26 presidential debate

Untitled Document
click to enlarge news_ocho1-1.jpg
8. Hillary Clinton will produce an “excused” note from her physician, Dr. Satan.
7. Donald Trump won’t appear unless moderators sign his “No Math, Geography or Other Very Bad Questions” agreement.
6. Clinton forgets to renew her auto-pay account with The Liberal Media.
5. Trump’s custom podium construction falls behind schedule due to lack of Mexican laborers.
4. Clinton will stay home and send in her body double (Saturday Night Live’s Kate McKinnon).
3. Trump refuses to go to Hofstra University because nickname “The Pride” could be “a gay thing or whatever.”
2. Clinton fakes her own death and retires to Celebrity Afterlife Island® with Lemmy and Prince.
1. Trump and Clinton take a “relaxation” break at 4:20 with Gary Johnson and just forget to show up.
Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Blah & Order

    Notorious is criminally dumb; Van Helsing puts a femme spin on the vampocalypse.
    • Sep 21, 2016
  • 4:20 Sharp

    High Maintenance is more than a stoner comedy; fall TV gets underway.
    • Sep 14, 2016
  • Dreamweaver

    Eight things Gov. Gary Herbert tells himself at bedtime:
    • Sep 14, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Dreamweaver

    Eight things Gov. Gary Herbert tells himself at bedtime:
    • Sep 14, 2016
  • Ocho you didn't

    Eight reasons bringing back The Ocho is a terrible idea:
    • Sep 7, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Obama & Utah

    8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
    • Apr 1, 2015
  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation