Developing vs. Destroying 

Real-estate developers excel in commemorating what they have just destroyed: Fox Den Road, Partridge Circle, Quail Hollow Drive. How they must be salivating at the prospect of a gift of 700 acres in Draper from their friends and cronies in the legislature. Imagine Penitentiary Close, Manacle Manor, Sallyport Square, Work-line Way, Criminal Court, Barbwire Boulevard, Rabbit Run, and Mule Hollow.

On Mainline Street, quality establishments could include Four-piece Suit, Soap on a Rope, Pen & Paper, Bulls & Hogs Butchery, Cheese Eater, Fish Market, Hokey Pokey, Buy & Cell Consignments, Screws Hardware and White Money Bank, all anchored by Iron City Commissary.

Find refreshments at Herbert’s Sherbets, lunch at Stir Fry, happy hour at California Cooler and dining at The Last Meal. Judicious zoning will distance taverns the Pig & Whistle and the Berkeley Hunt from Recidivism Junior High and Quasimodo Chapel.

Accommodation could range from the low-end Hoosegow Hostel & Inn Mate right up to the Bluffdale Hilton. Dream of nightlife provided by the Shurtleff Chippendales at the Swallow Dive, with complaisant escorts at the Swinging Door. In case of trouble, you’ll be able to rely on Shackle Shekels, Perpetual Bonds and Lockdown Assurance.

On the other hand, perhaps we should leave well enough alone.

Martin Gregory
Salt Lake City

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