Counterfeit Bail 

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Curses, Foiled Again
After police arrested Ronald White, 35, for shoplifting in Cinnaminson, N.J., they discovered he had outstanding warrants that required posting $400 bail. White paid cash. The next day, Detective Sgt. William K. Covert discovered that five of the $20 bills White used were counterfeit. “They’re pretty poor,” Covert said. “I didn’t have to touch them, and I knew they were bad.” Before police could locate White, he showed up at the police station to complain that he had overpaid his bail and wanted his money back. Officers found two more bogus $20 bills on him. “One of my favorite sayings is, you can’t teach stupid,” Covert said, “because every day something else comes up, and you just shake your head.” (
Philadelphia Inquirer
)

Chatterbox Justice
San Francisco became the first U.S. jurisdiction to respond to possible links between cell phone use and cancer. The city Board of Supervisors passed an ordinance requiring retailers to post the specific absorption rates (SAR) of mobile phones. Those are the rates at which radio frequencies penetrate human body tissue. (
The Washington Post
)

When Guns Are Outlawed
Police in New Port Richey, Fla., charged Angelic Innamorato, 28, with assault after they said she tried to hit her cousin with a ceramic toilet lid. (
St. Petersburg Times
)

Hypocrite of the Week
Farmer David Jungerman, 72, posted a sign in a cornfield in Bates County, Mo., accusing Democrats of being the “Party of Parasites,” who “always have their hand out for whatever the government will give them” in social programs. When asked about farm subsidies he has received totaling $1,095,101 in the past 15 years, including $34,303 last year, Jungerman insisted, “That’s just my money coming back to me. I pay a lot in taxes. I’m not a parasite.” (
The Kansas City Star
)

Parasites of the Week
California welfare recipients are able to use state-issued debit cards to withdraw cash from automatic-teller machines at 32 of the state’s 58 tribal casinos and 47 of 90 state-licensed poker rooms. To make it easier for cardholders to locate ATMs in casinos, the Department of Social Services lists them on its website. (
Los Angeles Times
)

Overstimulated
More than 1,200 prison inmates defrauded the government of $9.1 million in tax credits reserved for first-time homebuyers, according to a report by the Treasury Department’s inspector general. Among the recipients were 241 inmates serving life sentences, who received $1.7 million. The report disclosed that thousands of non-incarcerated people filed erroneous claims, resulting in more than $28 million being improperly doled out. (CNN Money)

Mother of the Year
Police responding to call from an 11-year-old boy in Surprise, Ariz., who reported that his mother was leaving him and his 6-year-old brother, said that Christina Muniz, 29, told them she was abandoning her two boys because she was sick of them and wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a stripper. Officers called Child Protective Services, which presented Muniz with a temporary custody notice placing the children with their father in Phoenix. When she saw the notice, “she looked at the 11-year-old and told him she never wanted to see him again,” police Sgt. Mark Ortega said, adding that as CPS workers started to take the children away, the 11-year-old tried to hug his mother goodbye. “Christina made a fist with her right hand and she punched him in the stomach.” (ABC News)

No Extra Charge—Yet
A U.S. Airways flight set to depart Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport returned to the gate for what passengers were told was a “minor emergency.” The problem turned out to be maggots falling from an overhead bin. “A passenger had brought a container of spoiled meat onto the plane,” airline official Todd Lemacher said. “After it was discovered, all passengers were checked to make sure no other carry-ons had been contaminated, and the passenger with the spoiled meat was re-accommodated on another airline.” The flight continued, with the remaining passengers, to Charlotte, where the plane was taken out of service and fumigated. (Atlanta’s WAGA-TV News)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

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