Clear & Presents Danger 

8 Valentine's Day gifts and what they really mean

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge news_the_ocho1-1.jpg

8. Chocolates: "Maybe these will shut you up so I can get 30 seconds of peace."

7. Jewelry: "If you hear the occasional 'beep,' it's not a tracking device. Nope ..."

6. A personalized love song: "So, my band is going to be crashing at your place for at least another week."

5. Dinner: "Our love will last longer than this Groupon, which expires Monday."

4. Lingerie: "It looked just OK on my last Tinder hookup, but it'll look fantastic on you."

3. A spa day: "A treament to remove tension, toxins and that giant stick up your ass."

2. A dozen roses: "So sorry about sleeping with your sister."

1. A single rose: "Your sister wasn't that great."

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Season's Beatings

    SuperMansion declares War on Christmas; Star gets behind the music.
    • Dec 7, 2016
  • De-gift Guide

    Eight local stores that went out of business before City Weekly’s Gift Guide was finished.
    • Dec 7, 2016
  • Faking News

    Eight ways to spot a “fake news” website
    • Nov 30, 2016
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • De-gift Guide

    Eight local stores that went out of business before City Weekly’s Gift Guide was finished.
    • Dec 7, 2016
  • Faking News

    Eight ways to spot a “fake news” website
    • Nov 30, 2016
  • No Thanks

    Eight texts to get you out of spending Thanksgiving with your family
    • Nov 23, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • Ocho Bräu

    8 breweries that weren't invited to our 2015 Utah Beer Festival
    • Aug 12, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation