City Weekly Picks: Music 

BEST CENSORED NEWCOMERS

The C'ted

“We got censored” is an unfortunate credo for a local grrrl-rock band whose name'a modified six-letter word that means nothing'entirely informs their critical reception. In other words, some people just can’t take a joke. The C'ted made their well-received debut at Todd’s Bar & Grill earlier this month, and we couldn’t even print their full moniker for fear of riling Wal-Mart shoppers (club ads are apparently not a problem). Undaunted, Secretia, C'tburgler, Laquifa and Lady Taint will continue to fight for their right to create sounds akin to “a unicorn taking a s't on Celine Dion’s chest.” The curious and unflappable can look the ladies up on MySpace. (Jamie Gadette)

BEST COVER TUNES

The Rubes

There are plenty of rollicking Rubes originals to choose from (“The Rubes vs. Viacom,” “Treasures & Trash,” “I Hate Death,” the list goes on), but these clown collegiates also have superb taste in live ‘n’ sweaty cover tunes, eschewing the kitschy contemporary choices most other bands go for in favor of reaching back to rock & roll’s ’50s roots'Eddie Cochrane, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, the swingin’ classics. But then there’s the Rubes’ show-stopping rendition of Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend,” that sweet 1989 rap lament about girl trouble … never a dry seat in the house. Thanks, Rubes. (Bill Frost)

BEST INDIE-ACTIVE DRUMMER

Dan Thomas

There’s a strong possibility that Dan Thomas is a robot. Seriously. The man'or should we say “human facsimile”?'seems to need neither rest nor serious sustenance despite his demanding, type-A schedule. Thomas, who spends his days hawking literature and souvenir pins for a local publishing company, plays drums (though not simultaneously) for Red Bennies, Tolchock, Smashy Smashy and Vile Blue Shades. He also laid down beats for folkie Gigi Love’s latest album, showcasing impressive versatility. Robots are cool. (JG)

BEST POD PEOPLE

ProvoPodcast.com

Of the handful of local indie-music-oriented podcasts that have sprung up recently, ProvoPodcast.com hits the right-enough mix of slick Web interface, radio-show banter, live performances, video bits and unpredictable audio antics that adds up to something that sounds almost (!) professional. Above all, the weekly program (new shows available for download Thursdays) just plays good tunes from local artists you’ve probably not yet heard of'which is the original point, of course. All this, and a guest appearance from R. Kelly? Nice. (BF)

BEST SELF PROMOTION

Local Record Labels

Salt Lake City has long held potential to be the next Omaha, Montreal or whichever city reigns supreme as this year’s indie-rock capital of the world. Of course, it takes more than talent to get your town on the map. So it’s a good thing that some local record labels'most notably Pseudo Recordings, Exumbrella Records, Rest30 and Kitefishing Family'are finally kicking it up a notch. Rather than wait for the music industry to seek them out, small label reps have been updating bios, creating accessible Websites, getting bands out on tour and keeping media outlets abreast of upcoming shows. (JG)

BEST LOCAL SHOP

Local

Finally, a mall store that actually lives up to its name'really, how disappointed were you the first time you wandered into a Wet Seal or a Hot Topic? Local, ensconced near Meier & Frank in the upper level of Sandy’s South Towne Center, just sells local stuff: Band CDs and merch, skateboard gear and clothing, all made right here in the pretty, great state. Local even makes the American dream of rocking in a mall come true, hosting free shows weekly; check for schedules at LocalStore.tk and MySpace.com/Local. Now if only it were closer to Hot Dog on a Stick … (BF)

BEST INDIE BOOTY-SHAKIN’

Ted Dancin’

If Pitchfork Media, Wilco and Drag City Records are familiar concepts, you’re probably not getting down to Top 40 hits at any Salt Lake City meat-market club. Still, even the most stalwart indie-rockers get ants in their pants. When the urge to get down strikes hot and heavy, thrift-store-outfitted locals flock to an Urban Lounge happenin’ called Ted Dancin.’ Once a month, DJs Niki and Charlie whip up an eclectic blend of Can, Marvin Gaye, Steely Dan, The Stooges, ABBA, Michael Jackson, Prince, ELO and other classics sure to make the body hop. Track TD’s Urban Lounge performance sked at MySpace.com/TedDancin1. (JG)

BEST LOCAL JOINT

Brewskis

No, “local” doesn’t mean just Salt Lake City'think outside the box, kids. For the CWB-centric haven’t had the pleasure of spending a rockin’ (or bluesin’) evening at Brewskis on 25th Street in Ogden, do yourself a favor and go see how a real neighborhood joint operates: No hipster cliques, no meat-market posturing, just good music (and good beer and eats) in a salt-of-the-earth bar that straddles the perfect line between “dive” and “class.” If your band has never booked a Brewskis show, look into it'the club and crowd know how to treat you right and make it worth the drive. (BF)

BEST HUSBAND/WIFE TRIO

The Breaks

It started off as a simple lovers jam, but The Breaks are quickly becoming more than just a hobby for giggles and grocery money. Devoted followers (including City Weekly’s entire production department, who never agree on anything) can’t get enough of bassist Leena Maija Rinne (Stiletto), her guitarist husband Dave Payne (Red Bennies, Coyote Hoods, Claw) and their revolving cast of ice-cold drummers. Until the group releases their much-anticipated debut, salivating listeners can make do with fresh, stripped-down soulful sounds at Rest30.com. This is one cute couple that won’t make you sick. (JG)

BEST OUTRAGE

SLAMMy Nominations

We went with nominations this year, posting critically informed suggestions instead of just leaving the fields open. Some folks freaked. More voted like crazy'response was up nearly 100 percent over last year’s SLAMMy balloting. Just because we made nominations didn’t mean write-in candidates weren’t viable'the government isn’t involved in this, after all, just you The People. Still, while some waged valiant write-in campaigns, the nommies took the day. Maybe next year we’ll go back to old school SLAMMy voting, or maybe we’ll just include more nominees. If you have an opinion, let us know'you have another 45-odd weeks to sway us. (BF)