Carnivorous, The Closer, Crazy Girls Undercover, The Ramen Girl & Stomp! Shout! Scream! 

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A master hunter (DMX—no, seriously, DMX) tracks a giant supernatural snake that’s eating dumb teenagers. So it’s one of those grayarea movies where it’s entirely unclear who the real villain is, right? Right. (
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The Closer: Season 4
TNT’s least-annoying character (Kyra Sedgwick) is back for a fourth season of implausible murder plots and terrorist attacks, quirky-yet-adorable personal ticks and folksy wisdom. Yes, “least-annoying” is kinda relative here. (
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Crazy Girls Undercover
Ex-CIA agent and current Las Vegas strip-club owner (!) Damon Archer enlists deadly showgirls (!!) to help him take down the terrorists who murdered his family (!!!). Is now a good time to apologize to DMX? (
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The Ramen Girl
An American (Brittany Murphy) is abandoned by her boyfriend in Tokyo, so she convinces a chef to teach her to become a master of cooking ramen. Apparently, there are more steps than “boil” and “add flavor packet.” (
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Stomp! Shout! Scream!
All-girl rock band The Violas hit a small Florida beach town in 1966, where the Skunk Ape (a swampland Bigfoot) from the Everglades is terrorizing the locals. The answer? A rock & roll beach party! Duh. (

More New DVD Releases (May 26) Designing Women: Season 1, The Devil’s Tomb, Hindsight, Killshot, Law & Order SVU: Season 9, The Legend of Fong Sai-Yuk, Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The Mod Squad: Season 2, New In Town, Powder Blue, UFO Hunters: Season 3

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