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News & Columns

Virtually There

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Gov. Mike Leavitt is “Virtually There,” according to a press kit, where Mike takes the place of Keanu Reeves in the heist of The Matrix by the Gentner Corp. and its public relations firm, the Intrepid Group. A noticeably buff Leavitt appears...

News & Columns

Mayor Kills Snow Scheme

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson huddled with his top advisers recently to determine if the city should go forward with the execution of the mayor’s scheme to install snowmaking machines on the roofs of downtown high-rises during the Winter Olympics...

News & Columns

Gas-X and Olympic Pompoms

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - The cat is out of the bag. We here at SmartBomb have been saying it for a long time, but now The Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News have come clean—they are indeed official sponsors of the 2002 Winter Games. The Trib is giving the Salt Lake...

News & Columns

Merry You-Know-What

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Well, it’s the holidays again and you know what that means: It’s the time of the year when even mean old deranged newspaper types look for a little good news. That, of course, is a tough sell, because despite what some people say, nobody wants...

News & Columns

Ring In Resolutions

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Here we go, it’s almost 2002 and time to make those New Year’s resolutions before the big ball in Times Square drops on Dick Clark. Here at Smartbomb, the staff has been diligently putting together our resolutions—not for ourselves,...

News & Columns

The Real Utahn of the Year

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - How in the world will Utah’s concealed weapon permit holders get from their cars to the Opening and Closing Ceremonies at the 2002 Winter Games? My God, they’ll have to go all that distance without a firearm and, as state Sen. Mike Waddoups...

News & Columns

Let’s Rodeo!

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Pull on your shit kickers, the Olympic rodeo is coming.For a minute there, it looked as though the Salt Lake (Olympic) Organizing Committee might sever ties with the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PRCA), with which it contracted to put on a rodeo...

News & Columns

Complaint Department

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Periodically, here at SmartBomb, we hear from people who have complaints. We don’t know why they call us, but we try to respond in a humane manner. Recently, our friend Mayor Rocky Anderson called to say Happy #$%&* New Year and “Why can’t...

News & Columns

You Know You’re in Utah When...

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - “You know you’re in Utah when ... ordering a cup of coffee is a political statement.” That’s just one of many quips in the new book Green Jell-O & Red Punch: The Heinous Truth About Utah! by C.L. Crosby. “This book says...

News & Columns

Stein to Light Cauldron?

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Through some investigation, but mostly deductive logic, the crack team here at SmartBomb has determined, we believe, who is the mystery guest that will light the 130-foot high cauldron to open the 2002 Winter Games. The answer to the big Olympic mystery...
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