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News & Columns

Rave Bans and Smutty Spam

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Utah’s answer to Don Quixote, Paula Houston, is getting pretty serious about her crusade to stamp out pornography here in Zion. Now the porn czar is tilting at spam (that’s spam not sperm). That’s right, the porn czar is going after...

News & Columns

Hideous Worldwide Karma

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - It’s official, says the Salt Lake Tribune, Olympic Guru Mitt Romney might possibly think about considering whether to run for political office here in Zion—maybe. Let’s face it, come March 1, the Mittster will be out of a job.The handsome...

News & Columns

Home Job?

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Ooh baby. U.S. District Judge David Sam doesn’t like the feds flying into Utah and telling us how to prosecute the Great Olympic Scandal. No sir. And he doesn’t like sneaky little prosecutors from the U.S. Attorney’s Office tying state...

News & Columns

We’re Cool, Not Dorky

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - The United Nations Security Council reportedly held an emergency session recently to discuss the brewing crisis in LaVerkin, Utah, where the organization has been outlawed. The Council debated pulling peacekeeping troops back to Rockville or possibly...

News & Columns

Dog Barkin’ Days

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - These are what we call the Dog Days of summer. Why this hot, languid time of year is called the Dog Days, of course, is somewhat shrouded in mystery. Is it because we’re hotter than dogs seeking shade? Is it because we’re going around bare-footed...

News & Columns

Corky, the Clone

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - This thing called stem-cell research has everybody up in arms … or eggs, whatever. See, it’s like this: Some people can’t get pregnant the regular way—this, of course, is no reference to the missionary position—and opt for...

News & Columns

Floggings & Dog Day Winners

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - TEHRAN, Iran—The hard-line Muslim government of Iran announced recently that it would step up public floggings to fight social vices, the Associated Press has reported. Under Islamic law, public floggings are the prescribed punishment for such things...

News & Columns

Welcome, Mr. President

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Everybody is real excited that the leader of the Free World will be visiting Salt Lake City this weekend, Aug. 25. OK, enough of the Dick Cheney jokes. Everyone knows we have a dork for president and a heart patient for vice president. It’s the...

News & Columns

Beheading the Dogs?

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Once upon a time, the University of Utah had a celebration called Mayfest. It was held in May and it was a festival and some bright bulb dubbed it Mayfest. For reasons that continue to elude us here at SmartBomb, the festival was moved to August. But,...

News & Columns

Some Idea, Some Dots

By Christopher Smart
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Almost two years ago, Gov. Mike Leavitt proclaimed his innocence in the Great Olympic Bid Buying Scandal, even though he had assigned one of his top number-crunchers to keep an eye on things over at Tom Welch’s bid committee office. When asked by...
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