Fulton Files

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Touchy, Touchy Whenever another boil popped up on Job’s back, the poor man born as a human experiment in theology simply put a philosophical spin on it, sat back, and awaited another blow. “Curse God, and die,” his friends told him....

News & Columns

Fulton Files

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Hatch’s Humble Pie Our Sen. Orrin Hatch, a songwriter of staid hymns and stinky soundtrack numbers, was all humble pie last week, especially considering that he had such a fine time rubbing Democratic noses in the dirt not so long ago. You might...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

Fulton’s Quarter Column of Evangelist Tears and Old School Hip-Hop

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - & ull; When journalists go bad: Transporting liquor from out of state into Zion is a third-degree felony (Utah Code 32A-12-201, look it up). Thank God for the United Nations, then, which nabs any bastard caught in the act of “public incitement...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

Fulton’s Quarter Column of Holiday Fur and Segregationist “Peckers”

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - & ull; Fur better or fur worse: Holiday retail sales figures are so boring. The real action, at least in the animal-rights bastion of Salt Lake City, is getting dueling press releases from the Fur Information Council of America, PETA and the Utah...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Barrel Worship There’s nothing worse than entering a Presbyterian church for communion expecting a fine vintage Merlot in that little plastic cup only to find that the minister’s slipped you ... grape juice. It’s enough to make any true...

News & Columns

Mercilessly Free of 2003 End Notes

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Top 10 Lists? A maudlin retrospective on all that made 2003 so nebulous in tasks and vague in extravagances, in language vaguely extravagant? No. This column will leave that to the professionals. In other words, the big shots at national magazines so...

News & Columns

Smart Bomb

Fulton’s Quarter Column Saluting the Human Body and Appetite

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - It is good that the holidays are past us. It’s even better that we can look on some of last year’s news with a smirk, gasp and some uncanny, unshakable sense that human behavior will never cease to leave us a quivering wreck shaking in some...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

Fulton’s Quarter Column of Drugs and Deficits

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - That American drug sentencing laws dole out more prison time to drug dealers than the majority of convicted rapists get is tragic, but some drug studies are plain ridiculous. In the case of Ecstasy, known in chemists’ circles as MDMA, we may never...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

Rich in News

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Despite all the religious proscriptions against coveting thy neighbor’s belongings and the life-snuffing force we popularly know as envy, it’s hard to shake the belief that the rich get away with murder, or at least have tons more fun than...

News & Columns

Fulton Files

Breast Intentions, Obscene Revelations

By Ben Fulton

POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Offense is such a funny thing, especially at Super Bowl halftime. In fact, it’s a farce. Really now, how can MTV Chief Executive Tom Freston blame the woman—Janet Jackson—for having her right breast exposed to the nation when it was...